Archive for the 'Blogging' Category

Me, oddly

October 20, 2008

MidlifeSlices™ — who has had a terrible week, I’m sorry to say — has issued a challenge to list six peculiar traits. Since I’m in the midst of a bad case of blog-ical stenosis, I’ll bite:

1. I sing little songs when I’m in the bathroom. I have since I was a child. (No, I won’t tell you what the songs are. That’s TMI.)
2. I like to eat white, bland food: puddings, mashed potatoes, pasta or rice with butter, divinity, meringues. It makes me feel safe.
3. I sleep with my feet uncovered most nights. If they’re covered, I feel like I can’t breathe.
4. I won’t eat home-cooked food unless I know who made it. Church or neighborhood suppers are a nightmare. And please don’t leave cookies on my doorstep. I’ll just throw them away.
5. Lately I have been obsessed with true crime shows on cable. Last Saturday I watched A&E, ID and TruTV for 12 hours straight. The world is a cesspool. Sociopaths abound. Trust no one.
6. The first thing I read in the papers in the morning is the obituaries. Also a carry-over from childhood.

Hmm. A bit morbid, I think. (I have others, but if I listed them, someone would likely alert the authorities.)

What are your oddities?

On Money: Mommyblogger meltdown

October 10, 2008

The Daily Beast, Tina Brown’s new excursion into tabloid online journalism, has an absolutely heart-wrenching collection of posts from women who have been slammed by the economic crisis. The last one, from a midlifer who calls herself The Accidental Housewife, really got to me:

The generations who survived the Great Depression were tough. They were resilient; they did not expect the government to bail them out of the hell that fell upon them…They boarded up their farms and loaded up their jalopies and headed out to find work. They did not stand around wringing their hands crying about what they didn’t have anymore they went out and worked. They were doers and savers and they made it.
My step-grandmother used to reuse her foil. She would smooth it out, wipe it off, fold it up and use it again and again until it eventually fell apart. My best friend’s grandmother would make a single chicken last through a week’s worth of meals. Each meal being different but made from that single chicken. They were resourceful. More important they MADE IT….
I am ashamed of my fellow baby boomers. I am ashamed that we have turned into such an entitled generation. I am ashamed that we have to have someone else make our morning coffee and we are too good or too busy to prepare our own dinner. That we feel entitled to drive vehicles that use more fuel in one week than a whole village in a third world country uses in a year.
So what do you say fellow boomers? Can we do it? Can we tighten our belts, knuckle down and use that knowledge that our forefathers and mothers gave us? Can we cook our own meals, repair our own roofs, make ourselves pay our own bills and not rely on the government to bail us out? I think we can. We just have to want to do it.

She captured much of my current angst. We as a generation have not been as careful as our parents. We’ve serially refinanced our homes and underfunded our retirements to pay for our lifestyles, and the payments are now due. Many boomers are spoiled and selfish and entitled, and some of us have passed those “values” on to our children. And we are all now in deep, deep kimchi.

But I am encouraged by some of the adjustments and accommodations and belt-tightening that I’m seeing around me: less driving, more brown-bag lunches, even a little more kindness and solicitude among my colleagues and neighbors. We are a well-educated generation with a lot of tools at our disposal. And one of those tools is the online communities we have built, which hold the promise of advising, supporting, sustaining and cheering us on (and up) during this bleak time.

Chins up, peeps. We’ll get through this.

Why I look for and read all your posts

September 17, 2008

“When a friend speaks to me, whatever he says is interesting.”
— Jean Renoir (quoted in the New York Times, Sept. 28, 1969). Via.

Election 2008: Why shouldn’t we all get along?

September 11, 2008

My blogging tastes are, to say the least, far-ranging. In addition to my midlife friends, I keep up with a number of political, media, fashion, health, religious, sports (alas, it’s true) and even fat-acceptance (FA) bloggers. And if what is happening in some of the FA blogs and blog groups is any indication, it’s a sad, sad time out here on the old Web.

Fatistician and Worth Your Weight, both fellow WordPressers, tell of defections from the FA community due to the increasing political nature and resulting rancor of some recent conversations. Lindsay of Babblebits explains:

With the upcoming elections going on in the States, people are getting more and more political in their blogs… There has been entirely too much drama in both of the [FA] feeds about who should and shouldn’t be in them, and both of them have had minor s–tstorms brewed when someone got removed from each of them.

Hel-lo? These are fat-acceptance bloggers, women (mostly) who want to feel good about themselves at any size and who want others to feel the same way, and yet they’re being sidetracked from their original mission by presidential politics. They came together for a sense of community, and that community is being threatened.

As Fatistician says, “The fatosphere is supposed to be this safe space to discuss fat issues and make everyone feel warm and fuzzy.” And all of a sudden, for some members of the community, it no longer is.

Oh, I know. Marx (or Lenin or McCartney or somebody equally divisive) said something about everything being political, but I just don’t think it has to be this ugly. I would like to think we’re all grown-ups out here. While wild-eyed, foaming-at-the-mouth ranters seem to invite equally rabid responses, I would hope that a well-reasoned post on any subject would invoke an equally well-reasoned reply.

But, alas, this is the Wild Wild Web. People can get their dander up over a comma splice out here. So we all continue to hit the Publish button and hope that we won’t be seriously misconstrued. But, somehow, we are.

I’m trying very hard not to promote any political opinion, mostly because I haven’t made up my mind. I daily get ultra-right-wing e-mails from my retired brother-in-law, as well as left-leaning tracts from my childhood friend in California. I glance over them, and I delete them. I watched the conventions, mostly on CSPAN to avoid the live punditry. I read the papers, and I even check in from time to time with both Fox and MSNBC.

And I gladly read my friends’ political comments on their blogs, which, for me, add to their personal richness and character. Your passion is always attractive and admirable, whatever the subject. I’ve even commented on some of my favorite posts in what I hope is a responsible, reasoned way.

If I offend, please forgive me. That would never be my intent. Americans indeed have a big decision to make in the coming months, but we don’t have to permanently alienate each other in the process.

Note: This article is cross-posted at MidLifeBloggers.

On attracting readers: Content — and crap

September 8, 2008

Big du-uh of the day: The writing blogs I checked all agree that, for driving readers to your blog, you must have a steady stream of Great Content.

Oh, fine. That’s just peachy. While such advice might work for some of you great minds out there, I frequently have days — like, TODAY, for example — when the contents of my skull must resemble COTTON CANDY.

So how does one jump start the old gray matter? Freelance Folder has a particularly good list of some original suggestions, including:

Write ‘crap’ without feeling guilty. We tend to assume that great writers write great stuff all the time. Face it — they don’t. Professional writers write even when nothing but crap comes out because they know that it’s part of the journey to getting the real gems. Steve Allen said to “write for the trash can,” meaning write without reservations about what people might think, just to keep your writing skills in shape. Try it when you’re feeling stuck — it really works.

I know this to be a widely used technique, because I have slogged through enough blogs that are comprised largely of “crap” — and their poor authors don’t know the difference. If they’d taken another look at their posts on another day, they might have seen the bits of gold glittering through all the dross. They don’t care enough about their writing to make it better.

Certainly, writing “on the fly” is one of the heady hallmarks of the Blogosphere, where everyone shoots from the hip, often in hopes of provoking a debate. But I’ve found I’m much happier with my posts when I let an hour — or a day — lapse between hitting “Save” and “Publish” (or, in a few memorable cases, “Delete”).

As one of my English teachers always intoned, “There’s no good writing, just good rewriting.”

And if you’re still stumped for content, I have the perfect, never-fail, crap-proof solution:

Please tell me a story. PLEASE. We’re all children at heart. We all love stories. A good story will help me tell my own story. Tell me about your best day, your worst boss, your biggest disappointment, your scariest moment, your first job, your brush with death, or fame. Tell me how you overcame your agoraphobia, your cancer or your eating disorder, or how you knew when it was time to leave your marriage. Please, tell me how you managed to cope with this grab-bag of experiences called Life.

I promise I’ll read it. PROMISE.

I finally wade into the Sarah Palin fray, sort of

September 5, 2008

In my wide-ranging wanderings around the Web, I have found a few blogs that leave me absolutely flat-footed and slack-jawed with awe at their rich thinking and writing. The Dame Domain is one of them. (She and I are both contributors to MidLifeBloggers, which both thrills and terrifies me. I’m not worthy!)

Amid all the yammering about Sarah Palin, the GOP and the RNC, hers is one blogpost that made me sit up and take notice. Only the Dame could combine Palin, Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine and the game of chess into one VERY original commentary.

Attracting readers: Speak and be heard — and read

September 3, 2008

While I had a LOT of interest in my recent post on attracting readers to Ye Olde Blogge Syte, I didn’t get any suggestions, which makes me think that everyone else is as baffled or uninformed as I — or else you’re all still sleeping off a Labor Day weekend-induced intoxication involving copious amounts of distilled spirits, potato chips, baked beans and barbecue sauce. Whatever.

So I shall continue to labor away in my campaign to capture the hearts of the Blogosphere with my latest cutting-edge innovation:

Commenting.

Huh? What? I was a little skeptical about this suggestion, but Problogger promises me it has merit:

One of the best ways to find the right type of reader for your blog is to comment on other people’s blogs. You should aim to comment on blogs focused on a similar niche topic to yours since the readers there will be more likely to be interested in your blog.

Most blog commenting systems allow you to have your name/title linked to your blog when you leave a comment. This is how people find your blog. If you are a prolific commentor and always have something valuable to say then people will be interested to read more of your work and hence click through to visit your blog.

I mean, du-uh, it certainly IS nice when someone makes the effort to comment on one of my posts, and as a courtesy I always check out the site of anyone new who comments. I’ve found a lot of online friends and wonderful blogs that way. I suppose I’ve just shied away from commenting on a regular basis because, after all, WHO could POSSIBLY be interested in ANYTHING I have to say?

A host of folks, apparently. So be prepared for COMMENTARY, people!

About blogging: A nanosecond in the Sun, er, Bee

September 2, 2008

Thanks to ByJane for pointing out that one of my blogposts at MidLifeBloggers was picked up over the weekend by the Sacramento Bee in its California Blogwatch column. After feeling alone and forlorn and unappreciated (like everyone else out there), I got a little tiny glow added to my morning.

On attracting readers to Ye Olde Blogge Syte

August 28, 2008

Without question the most productive move I made as a newborn blogger was putting up a post at BlogHer looking for other middle-aged women bloggers. (And I clicked on a WHOLE lot of links just to get to that point…) That led to a lot of discussion, some fun developments and some great links with some very interesting women. I’d like to repeat that feat, if possible.

It’s not that I think I’m the non plus ultra in blogging. For every ten mediocre blogs I trip over, I generally find one blogger whose interesting life experiences, sparkling prose and off-the-wall observations make me want to delete everything I’ve ever written. Some of you people can WRITE, and you make me want to be BETTER. And the feedback I get from you is making a more honest woman out of me.

So, I have decided that, rather than sitting around crying in my beer (my favorite pose of late) over my moribund blog stats, I am going to perform one act of blog enhancement per week (along with shaving my legs and conditioning what’s left of my hair). And I have found many bloggers who are happy to help me with my resolve, which is one of my favorite things about the Blogosphere. Unlike most of the self-obsessed homo sapiens I bump into all day long, ya’ll ain’t stingy!

My most recent attempt was prompted by One Cool Site — one of several links I picked up from the very smart Dumb Little Man — who pointed me in the direction of Google site verification. After several abortive attempts, I am now verified under both my blog names, although I’m told it may take a few weeks for any results to appear.

I’ve also, at the suggestion of Problogger, reached out this week to a couple of blog cooperatives and will sift through my blog for a pillar post or two to send to some zines.

Okay, you blogging veterans: Is any of this going to help, or am I just spinning my wheels? Are any of these widgets or embedded functions effective? Of all the advice you’ve bumped into out there about expanding the reach of your blog, what has been the most productive? Help a girl out, okay? I’ll be happy to do a follow-up post about my experiences with any suggestions.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Another Bloggers Bouquet

August 20, 2008

Mama still don’t feel so good, chillun. Go outside and play:

• Were it not for this enterprising gentleman, thousands of men in my little Dusty Corner would have nothing to wear with their beartooth and rifle-cartridge bolo ties. Ah, fashion…

• I’ve been surprisingly cheered and comforted by several cancer blogs I’ve tripped over recently, including one by Nightline and NPR correspondent Leroy Sievers, whose obituary was posted in the LATimes. His NPR blog, My Cancer, had the kind of tough writing and perspective you’d expect from a man who spent time in some of the modern age’s most dangerous places. Other excellent examples abound, but for me the mother lode of all cancer blogs still has to be Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Cancer, chronicling the unique and upbeat cancer journey of the still-very-much-alive-thank-you Carr. Her good news is that some cancers can eventually be downgraded to merely chronic conditions — and who doesn’t have one of those?

• Has your Ivy League education robbed you — like William Deresiewicz in The American Scholar — of the ability to converse with your plumber? (Hel-lo?) Rachel Toor admits that where you go to college can determine what you become: “Some of us become jerks. And others spend our lives trying to figure out what it meant to have been there — and how to get over it.” (Via Arts & Letters Daily.) Anybody else out there still trying to recover from your college education?

• My fellow WordPressers may have already discovered this gem on their Dashboard pages, but Where is Bob? brings new meaning and insight into one of the lower circles of cubicle hell. A group of university IT-ers has a beloved boss replaced by an absolute nincompoop. The man’s clueless-ness is staggering, and the post on Bob’s Other Job is particularly priceless. How WILL it end?